38 WEEKS

Yep 38 weeks. I have been dilated to a 1 for over a week. Hoping next appointment we have at least a little progress. His movements are getting bigger and he is getting lots stronger, which amazes me because he really doesn't have room in there for all he does. Sometimes it feels like he it trying to tear of there through my belly, I have to remind him that my skin has no more stretch left and he needs to move down to the exit, and Sang kids that he is trying to come out my belly button. With all that, I still love feeling him move and watching my tummy shift and roll and bounce and stick out pointy. He is so cute I can hardly stand it.

A while ago I wrote about Sang's brother and his wife adopting a little boy. Well on Feb 10th they have their final court date to make Jett Maddix James Ngo officially and legally part of their family. It has been so cool to see them adjust to being parents and to see Jett get used to them and grow to love and trust Bryan and Shannon. He was 18 months old when they got him and was emotionally and physically neglected by his 17 year old birth mom so it has taken him some time to get used to such loving parents. We are so happy for them and can't wait to be there in the court house to support them and welcome little Jett into our family. Plus it doesn't hurt that we will be going out to eat to celebrate together.

The Puppet

Oh this puppet. We got this puppy puppet at a shower and when you move the mouth the puppy barks 3 different tunes as you make him bark. It is very cute and very soft which is great for our baby boy. The thing is, I don't think there will be any juice left in the batteries by the time Elijah gets here. Sang LOVES this toy!! I have to admit I have hidden the toy from him but he found it. When we are out shopping and there is a stuffed animal he always has to check and see if it is a puppet now. When it comes down to it, it is very cute that Sang loves it so much. He is just a big kid at heart. He will be an amazing daddy. There is no one else I would rather experience this with.

36 weeks

I can't believe we are so close. I have such mixed feelings. On one hand I don't want this to end. He is moving so much and Sang and I love just laying and watching my tummy roll all over. Each night Sang "plays hide-n-seek" with Elijah. Sang will put his hand some where on my tummy and say "where are you Elijah" and Elijah will move and poke out some where else and Sang will move his hand around trying to find him and so on. It is so cute. On the other hand after such a long wait I am so ready to hold my baby and experience all the joys and tuff times of being mommy. I had an appointment on Thursday and everything looks good and it is the start of my weekly appointments, Whoot whoot! Not much else is going on, just working and waiting. We have been so blessed to have this experience and to have such an easy pregnancy. I am so grateful.

34 Weeks

First off we had a great photographer take our pics at 31 1/2 weeks but I can't get them downloaded onto here for some reason. Amy Woody did a fantastic job and I am super bummed that I can't show them on here. I did get them on facebook so you can go to my profile to check some out. That is why there has been such a big gap between baby bump pics.

Everything has been going fantastic. About a month ago I did get a bladder infection but luckily I was able to get that taken care of really fast. But because of how sick it made me, I can no longer say that I haven't thrown up through my pregnancy. Two weeks ago at my appointment my dr measured my tummy and said that it measures an inch bigger than it should which is kinda funny because I hear often that I don't look very big.

We just had another appointment today and we had our last ultra sound and she took measurements to see how much he weighs. He weighs in at 4lbs 13oz, which is slightly on the smaller side. He isn't small enough to be concerned which is good and everything looks good with him. We got a few more pics and he has Sang's cute big lips. I could watch him on the screen all day! We can't wait to hold him in our arms!

OH how we LoVe White Elephant parties!

Thank you Brother and Sister Black for hosting this GREAT Christmas party. The table was beautiful and the food was awesome! I didn't even stuff my face like that for Thanksgiving.

After dinner just sitting and chatting with everyone. Feeling fat and happy.

Letting food digest a little before starting the white elephant presents. So excited!

I drew #1, lucky me so here goes the first present. Drum roll please......... It was a glass pot. Yep no one stole it from me so I get to take it home. Sister Diamond says that she always burnt food in it. If she had a hard time cooking things in it, there is no way I can. ha!

Watching another gift be opened, the intensity. ha! Sister Atkinson standing, Brother and Sister Diamond sitting right in front of her, Bishop Atkinson on the couch with Jeff (the exec sec)

Jeff, Sister Black, Brother and Sister Jensen.

We always joke with Brother Diamond that he needs to learn to how to text so it was very fitting when he opened a poster with text abbreviations, to bad Sister Black stole it from him. ha!

The Anderson's, they are awesome!

Bishop was super excited about the wood bears. It was a gift me and Sang took. We got it from my cleaning out my grandparents house after they passed away. They are kinda cute but what on earth do you do with them? We joked on the way there that bishop would probably actually like them. LOVE that he is the one that ended up with them. Even though before he got these everyone kept stealing his gifts.

Sang got a bed pan (not sure if it was ever used, eww) and a old, used remote control car. Don't tell the Black's but Sang hid the bed pan in their house before we left.

Brother and Sister Jensen, he is a bit excited about his worn out knit gloves.

Sister Jensen sporting her fur coat we had cleaned out of G-ma's closet. Mom says she thinks G-ma bought this coat before she married G-pa, so from the 30's or 40's ish. We have no idea what it is made from and it smelled like it was from that long ago. If she takes it to an antique store she might be able to make some money off it.

Here is everyone together. They are all so awesome!!!! We miss seeing all of you on Sunday's. You have all been such good examples to us and have welcomed us with loving arms. We consider you all family to us. Thank you so much for all the great memories and we hope to make many many more with you. We love all of you!!!!!!

29 WEEKS

With last week being Thanksgiving and all, picture was not to high on my priority list so here is 29 weeks. Things have been fantastic!! I few weeks ago I did get a bladder infection and that was pretty yucky. The first day I had to have Sang come get me from work because it totally made me feel so sick and drained all of my energy and everyone was telling me I was as white as a ghost. I'm pretty dang white and I thought it was impossible for me to look whiter but I guess I can. Humm.. who would have thunk. Luckily I got med pretty fast and after rest and a day or two I was pretty much better.

For Thanksgiving we went down with my side of the family to Little America in Salt Lake and stayed there a few nights and ate at their Thanksgiving buffet. It was really good and so fun to be there with family.

A friend at work threw me a work baby shower and it was great. We got a lot of adorable stuff and a lot of people gave us money which we got enough that it paid for our crib which is nice.

Sang of course has been amazing as always. He has helped my dad a ton with shoveling all the snow, I'm used to being out there helping so it has been hard not helping so I just sit and watch and Sang pulls cute silly faces at me and he comes and stands under the window and starts meowing to tease my mom. We kid with her that she is the neighborhood cat lady so me and her just giggle when he does it.

The yesterday I worked from 8:30am to 9:30pm and he was so sweet and gave me a back rub AND a foot rub. I had only asked for a little back rub. He spoils me.

We did have an appointment yesterday (I got bumped twice because of deliveries so it has thrown all of my appointments off) We sweet talked her into doing an ultra sound and she did some measurements and he was in breach position with his bum down and his toes touching his head. Based on the measurements he is 2lbs 12oz. He is adorable!!

I am still in shock that this is my life, that this is really happening to me. That I get to experience this little miracle boy in my tummy moving. That I am being blessed to be his mommy. That I have such and amazing and supportive and excited husband to share this miracle experience with. It is very humbling.

26 Weeks

Yep 26 weeks, less than 100 days left. I can't believe it has been 6 weeks since I was crossing over the half way mark. It's incredible! We had an ultrasound last week and he was stubborn once again and was facing my back at first so after looking at other things for a while we went back to his face and he had turned a little so we could see his profile and if we adjusted a little we could catch a peak from the front, but once we got to the front what does he do? The same thing he always does, he covers his face with his hand. As usual we could only see his nose and mouth. He was swallowing so we could see his mouth moving and he even stuck his tongue out at us. He has Sang's flat button nose and big plump lips. So cute.

The other day I was laying back on the couch and I put my cell on my tummy, he freaked out. I could see my tummy moving all over like he was turning around and then he started kicking the phone as much as his little legs could, like he was trying to kick my phone off. I did it again at work with a mug I was eating my oatmeal out of and he started kicking at it. I don't get him, when it is an object he kicks at it like crazy but when it is a hand he gets shy or something.

Today I also felt my first big Braxton Hicks contraction. Usually if my tummy was hard I couldn't really tell unless I felt my tummy with my hand, but this almost took my breath away with surprise of feeling it tighten up like it did. Plus it felt like some one dropped a 5lb weight inside my tummy. It was awesome!! I'm so excited with all the new things that come at different phases of getting closer to seeing and holding my baby boy. I love him more than I ever imagined possible. Sang is still the cutest daddy to be and is always asking what he is doing and how I'm feeling, and giving him kisses. He even tries to look through my belly button to see him, which his eye lashes tickle like crazy. He is so funny.

24 weeks

Had my 24 week appointment on Tuesday and it was the first appointment Sang couldn't come to, also was the first one she hasn't done an ultra sound for me. Guess he has been my lucky charm. Good thing I work in the same building as her so she told me to remind her next week and she will come get me when she has time to do one for fun. The other day I was doing laundry and Elijah started moving, I had to take advantage of it so I sat down and just stared at my tummy and watched my tummy bouncing all over and talked to him for about 30 minutes. We went to Cali last week (pics to come) and on the way down I was just thinking about how blessed I am with Sang as my amazing husband and our little miracle and I just started crying and crying and crying. ha! Man it is so hard to stop crying once you start when your pregnant.

22 WEEKS

A lady at work asked me when I was due so I told her Feb 15th , She says "OH, you have a while huh." As she was looking at my belly. I said "doesn't look like I have that much longer does it." She just nervously laughed like she didn't know how to agree with me and not offend me. Yep I'm big. Also a lady at work referred to me as the pregnant girl, I'm just happy she didn't say "the fat girl". So guess when it comes down to it, I'm big and pregnantly happy. Best way to be right? ;) My sweet baby Elijah is already worth ever pound.

Half Baked

Elijah side profile, his long leg (takes after mommy) and He's still a boy (takes after daddy)

20 weeks

20 WEEKS

Here it is! Half way! I am so happy that we are half way from having our sweet baby Elijah in our arms, but at the same time, I have had such a great pregnancy (no vomiting, mild nausea,ect) besides the spotting that I have enjoyed it so much, I am kinda, just a tiny bit sad that it is half over. Not knowing if I will ever get to experience this again and with everything I have been through to get this little guy, I have tried so hard to not take one single second for granted.

We had our 20 week appt on Monday and it was the big ultra sound where they measure him and see how on track my due date is and to make sure he had all his insides and they looked healthy. He was being stubborn and rolled on his stomach so he was facing my back so she couldn't get a front face shot but he does have one heck of a cute side profile. =) Every thing looked great and my due date hasn't changed, still Feb 15th. It was so amazing to see his legs kicking like crazy and feel it at the same time. He also was being shy and covering his face with his hand for the very short time she could have gotten a front face shot. But he wasn't shy about showing us that he is still and always will be a boy, silly boy. I think we might need to work on that when he comes out. I have a feeling he might want to just run around naked. ha!

18 Weeks

Movement and It's A BOY!

I have tried to download some ultra sound pics on here but for some reason I can't get it to work. Hopefully I can figure it out so you can see our baby Elijah.
I have heard several times that first time mom's don't usually realize they feel the baby until later in the pregnancy so I have been trying to be very aware of all the different flutters in my tummy. Tomorrow I will be 18 weeks, at 14.5 weeks I felt baby Elijah's first kick. I was laying on the couch and felt the flutter. Right away I knew without a doubt it wasn't like all the others, that it was my baby. It took another week before I felt him move again but after that wait I was feeling him at least once a day, and have been feeling more and more movement since. I have tried to savor every single one of them.
On Friday night we were on the couch watching a movie and Sang was in usual position with his hand on my tummy. I felt a kick where his palm was and his head turned to me so fast and he had the cutest smile and look of shock on his face and he ask if that was baby Elijah. I was shocked and ask if he really felt it. He was so excited and had the big smile on his face for so long. He wanted to feel him again so he started chanting "do it again" as he jiggled my tummy.
I can't even put into words how amazing this whole experience has been. Sang is so amazing and is so fun to watch how excited he is when we see Elijah on the ultra sound and when we are at a store that has baby stuff, seeing him pull out stuff he thinks is cute with the most adorable smile on his face. Most of the outfits we have bought, he picked out. And seeing him be excited when I tell him that he just moved, he comes over and puts his hand where I show him he just moved. All the texts I get through the day of Sang asking how mommy and Elijah are doing. We got asked to speak in sacrament yesterday and I spoke on marriage and Sang spoke on family, as props he showed off 2 of the baby outfits we have recently bought, it was adorable. I could not imagine sharing these experiences with any one else. He is an amazing husband and is going to make such an amazing daddy.
How have I become so blessed?

P.S. With moving into my parents basement we missed taking my 16 week picture so tomorrow we will be taking out 18 week picture so stay tuned for that.

Belly Dancer (not quite)

14 weeks prego, it might not be pretty but after all the hard work to get a prego belly, I will be showing off the actual tummy. (unless I get to many complaints then I will keep the shirt down)

12 weeks prego belly

PRE-prego belly

Water Fun

Ryan, CarolAnn, and Saydee came to visit for a little while and we got together and played in mom and dad's water toys. Randy, Wendy, and Madilyn came to play too. We had fun watching the guys going down the slide, until they popped it.

Little scare

Last night we were getting ready for bed and I used the restroom and I was bleeding. It was what I would consider more than "spotting" and not as much as the down pour of a miscarriage. It was, in my opinion, right in between. Being the worry wart I am I was ready to go to the ER, Sang being calm and collected he is wanted to wait a little longer and see if it would stop or get worse before doing anything. As any woman who has been pregnant or man who has had a wife pregnant knows, the one carrying wins, always, in situations like this, especially with my history. So still bleeding we are off the the ER. Luckily we knew one of the people working in the ER and he and Sang gave me a blessing as soon as we got into the room. THANK YOU! (I love the priesthood) They took a urine test and took some blood work, which thinking about it we never heard any results from, hmm, but then they started an IV to fill my bladder to do an ultrasound. Still there and moving like crazy. It was awesome to see.
The Dr came in after talking to the radiologist and said that I had some hemorrhaging between my placenta and my uterus but everything looks great besides. They told me for a few days I am on pelvic rest. Poor Sang, all that and by the time we got home he was able to to get only 2 hours of sleep before having to wake up for work. We were both glad to see everything is still good, but he did give me the "I told you so" look that everything was fine, Which I deserved, but I had to know everything was ok or I would keep stressing and cause more damage.

What to say....

Everything is going fantastic!

I have had some nausea and don't know if I will ever be able to eat meat again but I LOVE fruit and popcycles and string cheese. Oh and of course all sugar loaded food is always welcome but I have been able to limit my eating of such foods pretty good.

We had our first OB apptointment and everything looks great and strong. Our next appointment is Aug 4th, then Sept 1st, which is when Dr Lister says if there is cooperation we should find out what we are having then we can share what and how many. I hate to say it but it has been so fun listening to everyone guess how many they think we are having.

We haven't done a whole lot around here. Usually I am either working, doing house work, or taking it easy (yes I am paranoid).

We did go to my parents on July 3rd and had a barb-Q with my parents and brother and his family. My parents have a bunch of water toys so we got them all out and it turned into a little game of water baseball. The huge blow up water slide was first base, the blow up pool was second, the top of the slip an slide was third and you had to slide down it into home. We didn't take our camera because we forget to take pics now days. It was super fun though.

Nothing else is really going on here. I just can't wait till I can post ultrasound pics we have already.

Oh some great news about Sang's brother Bryan and his wife Shannon. I got a text from a volleyball friend that said she knows a 17 year old girl in foster care that has a 18 month old son that she wants to place for adoption and she was wondering if me and Sang would be interested since she knows we have struggled with inferetiliy. I told her I was pregnant but Bryan and Shannon want to adopt so I gave Shannon her number and they arranged for the birth mom to meet them and 4 other couples and she would decide who she wanted to take her son.

We they met and a few days later they got a call that the mom had picked them. They have to do a homestudy and are waiting for a court date but their lawyer said they are going to try hard to push for it to be all done this coming week. He is so adorable and they get to take him often. They can't keep him yet till stuff gets done. Shannon says that when they drop him off he grabs onto them for dear life and cries. It breaks their heart but they know it will be over soon. Here is a picture of Maddix:

Thoughts & Prayers

Thank you everyone for your thoughts and prayers. We honestly can't tell you how much it has helped us. It is amazing how we have felt comfort and calm as we have gone through IVF. I do have a favor to ask. Please continue praying for us, but just adjust the prayers and thoughts so that I will be able to continue carrying our baby/babies. I'm pregnant!!

We have an appointment on the 28th to find out how many. My beta level at 14 days was 592. I need to go in to the ER Sunday to have another test. They want to make sure that my levels are going up. I still need to do my nightly progesterone shots until July 19th. We are running out of not bruised cheek for the shots. Our baby/babies are worth every one of them. Bring them shots on!

Selective Hearing

We kinda have the motto in our house now "pregnant until proven otherwise". We talk like our 2 embryos are still in there since there have been no signs (cough cough, my period, cough cough) that they aren't. Sang gives them kisses each night and asks me during the day how they are and says that he misses them. He makes sure I drink at least 3 glasses of milk a day just to make sure they will be tall and healthy and tall, did I mention TALL. I love it.
The other day Sang was... well to put it bluntly, getting on my nerves. I started ignoring him. I could hear him just keep talking even though it was obvious I wasn't listening. After a minute or two I decided to focus and listen to what he was still rambling on about just in time to hear... "Babies, are you going to ignore me like momma does?" How could I not bust up laughing? then he says, "ohhh you are listening huh."
Cutest hopeful daddy ever!!

THE TRANSFER

Well our 2 "A-Team" members didn't want to wait till Sunday so Friday we went down and they put in our 2 embryos. They gave us a picture of them and they had a tv that we could watch the lab tech put our babies in a catheter thingy and walked our babies into our room where I was prepped and ready. They had the lab guy go back into the lab (which was an adjoining room by the way) and look to make sure the babies were out of the tube. He gave the Dr a thumbs up and was on his way. They had me lay still for a half hour. Sang was right my my side the whole time. He had been there for everything. He is amazing.
They sent us home and told me 2-3 days bed rest. I am glad it happened during the beginning of this long weekend.
Oh and out of the 10 that fertilized 5 have stopped growing at 3 celled embryos. They put the 2, one 8 celled and one 7 celled, strong one's in and there are 3, 2 were 5 celled and the other was kinda 7 celled, that they are still watching and will let us know if they get to where it would be worth freezing. Honestly since we haven't heard anything yet I would be surprised it any of them did, but we will see. Hopefully we wont need any to be frozen. wink wink.
Once again we would like to say thank you all for all your thoughts, prayers and support. It has truly been humbling and overwhelming. We have been so blessed with so many caring friends and people around us. We pray that in your time of need you will feel the same love and comfort we have. If any of you need anything please let us know so we can return your kindness.
When the gentleman offered to pay for the In Vitro for us we asked what we could do for him and how we could ever pay him back and all he said was to pay it forward with service to others. We are so indebted for just having this opportunity, there is no way we could feel good about ourselves if we didn't try to take every opportunity we can to give back what we can.
Thank you!!

And the eggs become embryos

I got a call this morning from the lab saying that all 10 of my eggs have fertilized. He said that they are shooting for the transfer (of just 2, no we don't want our own tv show) to take place on day 5 which is Sunday. He said that they will be watch through the night and there might be two that mature faster then the others. If that happens they will call and tell me to get down there asap. Which we are kinda hoping that doesn't happen because due to this weekend being a holiday Sang was not able to get anyone to work or switch shifts with so that would mean he wouldn't be able to be there if I had to run down tomorrow morning. He is so cute and really wants to be there for me and our babies so we are praying Sunday is the day.
Yippeee!!

Retrieval Day

Here is the update for any of you that are still reading my blog after my last little (monstrous)blog. I really hope I didn't offend anyone.
Today was retrieval day. We had our appt at 8:45am down at the U of U. They are really great and friendly there. They know what they are doing and talking about. I got my iv started and they put my sleepy med in. (oh how I love the sleepy med) They actually let Sang sit by me and watch the monitor as they did the procedure. He thought it was pretty cool what they can do. They put in the ultrasound stick and then the vacuum needle. (that's my term for it, I don't remember what they called it) Sang watched as they drained all of the fluid out of several follies. I asked how many and he said he wasn't counting. The nurses told him that from what they could tell without looking into microscopes at the eggs we should have around 10 that are mature and ready, as long as they look normal. We might have more and we might have less depending on how they look.
Sang is amazing and has taken such good care of me. He would feed me crackers so I didn't have to move. He had to go to work but he made sure I was taken care of and had everything I needed before he left. He also left me a little note telling me that I did great today and he loves me. I honestly don't know what I would do without him through all of this. He is perfect.

I Would Die For That

Just heard this song and loved it. Those who don't struggle with infertility don't fully understand how lucky they are. I don't want to get on a soap box or anything but I'm going to anyways. Ha! I hope those who can have kids just take a moment to think about what infertility entails. Since I have struggled with this for so long I feel that I have a lot more control on my emotions when it comes to this trial than I used to and I feel I can speak more freely and without plunging into a pity party.
My advise:
Please be careful of the comments you make to those you know are trying to get pregnant. Or those that have been married a few years and don't have children. Not everyone shares that they are trying and when you ask, "so why don't you have kids yet?" It can be like a dagger to the heart. I learned to reply something along the lines, "I don't know, when Heavenly Father tells you when, please let me know because it just isn't happening."
Please NEVER EVER EVER tell them to just relax and stop thinking about it/trying. That just down right pissed me off when I would hear that. Anyone going through infertility knows this is next to impossible. Not getting pregnant isn't just like forgetting that you have a bruise or cut and when you get occupied with work or chores you tend to forget that it is there. Infertility is a constant thought in the back of your mind.
Please don't complain about pregnancy pains to some one who can't get pregnant. I know it sounds like a no brainer but you would be surprised how many women that are pregnant just don't think about who they are complaining to. We totally get that there are pains and uncomfortable and annoying things that come with pregnancy and of course people are human and that is what we do, complain. But PLEASE be careful WHO you complain to.
Complaining to include: Please don't complain about it taking 2 months or so to get pregnant especially if you already have children. 2 months compared to 1+years is really incomparable. Don't think that you can relate, because you can't.
Please keep in mind that it takes a community to raise your children, so on Mother Day remember that we might not have our own children but we are in a way mothers to yours, our nieces and nephews and our friends children. Plus we still have the motherly instinct built within us. We are still mothers.
Please let us be the one's to crack jokes or make comments about our infertility. (If we are able to)
Those are just a few pleased I have that I know all infertility couples (mostly women) would appreciate extra effort in.
Also to help you to understand where we are coming from I would like to include from one of our classes we took while on one of our adoption paths we once started:
The Emotional Stages of Infertility
Surprise
Denial ("this can't happen to me")
Isolation- Infertility can be too personal and embarrassing to discuss.
Anger- The loss of control over our bodies and destinies often lead to anger. Anger may be directed realistically and rationally toward those who express insults, or irrationally toward doctors, or deity. The real anger is toward the situation and ourselves. Depression may result if the anger isn't dealt with.
Guilt and Worthlessness-People try to make a cause-and-effect relationship between infertility and something they have done or not done. Pregnancy may be seen as an issue of worthiness.
Depression-This is a legitimate response to despair,sadness, and distress.
Grief- Loss of passing on the family name; loss of the dream of bearing children; loss of feeling like you fit in; loss of being free from the hassles of seemingly unending medical examinations;ect. There are no funerals, no grave to lay flowers on. Often, the couple grieves alone.
Sounds a bit like the grieving process doesn't it? Well that's because it is. We will be going through these different phases as long as we are infertile. It might get easier but it is always there.
I know this is getting long but I have just one more thing from the class to share:
Infertility is.......
Trying to be happy for your friend who's on her 2nd or 3rd pregnancy
Hating your "broken body"
Doctors:hating them....worshipping them
Wondering if you will ever get a Mother's Day or Father's Day card
Picking a name for your baby...& then growing tired of it before you get to use it
Always going to other people's homes for dinner so THEY don't have to get a babysitter
Falling apart.....every month
Knowing (better than most) how conception happens, yet having to put up with stupid advice and crude jokes
Feeling empty and sad almost all of the time
Wondering...Why us?
Having a "guestroom" & wishing it were a "nursery" instead
Secretly hating every pregnant woman you see
Dreading "another" Christmas without the child you long for
Needing to grieve, but not knowing really how
An ONGOING process
I really don't want you to think that I am writing this out of bitterness or anything like that. I write this with hope that this will help bring awareness to the ever growing infertility couples and the emotional torment and stress it brings. I know that there is a reason why we are facing this trial and I know that we WILL be blessed one way or another with OUR children.

Moving right along with IVF

We had another appointment this morning and I still have over 20 follies. She said that there are at least a hand full that are maturing fast and they want to keep an eye on them so they can retrieve them at the right time so we are going back tomorrow morning. She said that if it keeps going this fast we should be doing retrieval the beginning of next week. On the general calendar they gave us at the beginning of this all, typically they would be doing it the end of the week, so it looks like we are a little ahead of schedule. Totally not going to complain about that. =)

I just want to say also that we appreciate all of the thoughts and prayers. We have been so touched by all of the love and hope that we get from all of you. We are so grateful and know that every prayer is helpful and you have helped us to feel Heavenly Father with us through this exciting yet overwhelming time. We pray that all of you can feel comfort and love in all that you do, and receive blessings and that you all will also know that we also care about you and your happiness.
Thank you from the bottom of our hearts.

All my meds I get to take. I started my three shots a night last night and for the first time my tummy is sore. I give two smaller shots on one side and the bigger shot on the other and I will alternate which side which shots will go in. It really hasn't been to bad so far, knock on wood. Just thought everyone would like to see. =)

IVF Update

We had our appointment today down at the U of U. The Dr came in did an ultra sound and found 13 follicles on the right side and 10 on the left. As he was counting you could hear the excitement in his voice increase. After counting and looking at my uterus he said that everything looks ideal!! Whoot Whoot!! That was it, he was done. Next we went in and talked to the nurse. She said she was getting the order placed today with the pharmacy for my next meds to come. Which I will start on Monday. I will be giving my self 3 shots a day. Then we go in on May 22ND in the morning and they will do another ultra sound. If I am over stimulated they will cancel the whole thing and we start again. If everything looks good they will have us come back in 2 days later and so on until retrieval which would be around the 26Th-28Th. Happy Birthday to me if that happens.
I love going through this with Sang. Even though I have been emotional and get frustrated easily he is trying hard to be supportive and add humor to what we are going through so that it is a good experience.
Example: When we were at the Dr's the nurse said to get undressed from the waste down and Sang being the funny man he is asked her "which one of us?" HA! Also when we were talking to the nurse after the ultra sound, she left to go make copies of some of our labs and when she left she shut the door and Sang locked it. Well she came back with another nurse and the financial guy and we could hear her saying "oh man I always lock my self out some how." We were dying. Sang let them in and she was playing with the door saying "I keep doing that, I don't know what I do." I couldn't help it, I told on Sang. They thought it was hilarious.
I love not knowing what Sang is going to say or do next. He cracks me up. Some times embarasses me but still cracks me up.

IT'S ALL IN THE TIMING

It is ironic how just after we got licensed to become foster to adopt parents Sang would have this conversation with a gentleman we have met some what recently and have grown to love very quickly (before the conversation). Conversation goes as follows:
Friend: "so why haven't you guys tried In Vitro?"
Sang: "we just can't afford it."
Friend: "Make an appointment, I will take care of the rest."
Sang: "umm, you know it is expensive right?"
Friend: "yes my kids did it"
Sang: "you must love me."
Friend: "nope I love Heidi, you guys need to become parents."

After Sang told me about this conversation and I stopped crying, we discussed how we felt about the offer. After feeling all kinds of emotions like, guilt, pressure, happiness, and complete shock. We had decided that we would try the cheaper artificial insemination (IUI) an few times first before taking the offer.
So I made an appt with a dr who can do the IUI. I was just at the end of a 3 month lupron treatment for my endometriosis so we thought it is all at great timing. The dr put me on a new version of Clomid and a week later I went in to see if it did what it was supposed to (stimulate my ovaries so I produce more eggs than normal) and nothing. There was not one single follicle. so he switched me to Clomid (I have never had any problem with Clomid doing what it is supposed to) so a week later I head over there and once again, nothing. The dr raised the strength and told me to come back. On the way home I told Sang that since I am older and after all the treatments I have gone through in the past I was scared that since girls are born with just so many eggs, that I was running out. So we stopped everything with that dr and made an appointment to U of U.
As we were going through this we got a call from our case worker. She tells me that they have a little 2 year old boy who the parents haven't done everything they have been asked and it looks like he will be up for adoption in Aug if the parents don't change the direction it is going. The foster parents that had him needed someone to watch him for the weekend so they asked us to so we could see if he would be a good fit for our family. The boy was so good and he did everything I asked. I would tell him it was time for bed or nap and he would start putting toys away and go point to the crib and say "bed". When I told him it was time for bath he took off for the bathroom as he was ripping his shirt off. He was so good and so cute. I prayed and prayed that I would know for myself if he is meant to be in our family or if we should proceed with IVF.
As the weekend came to a close I got my answer. After dropping him off to his foster parents Sang and I sat down and found that we both got the same answer. IVF it is.

We had our first appointment on April 21st. It was great. We discussed the process of IVF and all of the variation factors that come with, if your this happens then we will do this, if that happens then we will need to do that, and on and on. I thought the big decision would just be doing the procedure. I was very uneducated. The dr did an ultrasound and found 18 follicles. WHAT!!! I hadn't been on any med for over 2 weeks and that is what he found. CRAZY!

So they tell us that if we are ok with proceeding all we need to do is wait for my cycle to begin and then they will put me on birth control to get control of what my body is doing. They gave me a rx and sent us on our way. We stopped at the temple on our way home and when we got out they had called and left a message that after discussion they felt there was no reason to wait for my cycle. I could start the birth control that day. The plan was for my to be on b/c for at least 12 days then I would start my low dose daily lupron injections. They always start the injections on a Sunday and it turns out my day 12 was a Sunday. We got it all arranged for the lupron to be delivered to my house so I could start them. This last Sunday, May 2nd, was my first lupron injection. I have an appointment to go in for an ultrasound on the 12th.

SO, the man who felt the need to pay for this. After knowing us for a short time he said that he was in the temple and felt prompted that he needed to help us financially to have children. At that time he had no idea our fertility story and didn't even know if we were even trying to have children. He got to know us more and our situation and when he felt the time was right...had the conversation with Sang.
We feel so watched over and blessed. We have no idea what the out come will be. We feel really good about it. BUT IF it doesn't happen for us, we both know that we can move forward to adoption without wondering about the one procedure to have our own that we couldn't afford. I know that we have been watched over and that Heavenly Father has a plan for our future and our future children.
I will keep updating as we go through the different steps.

V-Day 2010

Sang spoils me so much. I got 2 dozen roses on friday and another 2 dozen on saturday. Saturday night our stake had a dinner/dance for married couples and so we dressed up and had a blast. Last year we went in jeans and were way under dressed so this year we went the other extreme. He looks so good!

They did drawings and gave a bunch of stuff away. This is what we won. It was hand painted by a guy in the stake. I can't wait to put it up next year.

Here is a picture of us at the dance. Sang is so amazing. Love you babe!