This Last Year

Even though it has been over a year since I last posted, not a lot has changed. Well I guess that isn't totally true. Elijah has changed a ton. He is growing up so dang fast. He talks so good and is so smart. The other night I was giving him kisses good night and I went in for more and he put his hand up to my face and says, "no more kisses mom, not till Sunday". We are working on potty training. Ugh! He does good half the time. I just can't wait until it is over. Sang and I agree, he is the light of our lives.
In November we did a FET (frozen  Embryo Transfer) with our 2 frozen embryo's. It was unsuccessful.  I have been having a hard time because I would be due this month had it worked. I know that we will have another child when the time is right, but it is so hard being patient and not knowing when that time is. It has been 13 years since my infertility struggles began and I am just ready fkr it to be over,to have my family complete and move on to stress over just my role as mom. I am unconditionally grateful for Elijah in my life but with knowing that our family is incomplete, I have a void in my life still. I have a hole in my heart that i am anxious to fill.
Anyways, we are saving our money and looking at options. There is a less invasive IVf called mini stim IVF or just mini IVF that is less medication to produce less eggs which is supposed to make the eggs you do produce better quality. It is also half the cost of traditional IVF. I just barely started reading about it so I still have a lot of research to do on it and I need to see from the very few IVF clinics which one's will do it.
Well that is all from the Ngo house hold tonight.

FEW PICS AND VID

My Pleasure, My Guilt

I feel the need to just blab tonight about some of the feelings that I have had and am having.  I have a feeling this will be all over the place but to be honest I am interested to see where this goes.
SO... Before having Elijah I had watched a few episodes of the show "18 kids and counting" which shortly became "19 kids and counting". I always thought,"holey crap they are CRAZY!!" I didn't understand why any one would want that many kids. Well, I remember having the thought in the hospital right after I delivered my precious miracle, and they laid him on my chest, "this is why!" I could get very addicted to that.  I was blessed with an almost perfect pregnancy, would have been perfect if I didn't bleed for almost 10 weeks in the first and second trimesters and also having the uti that made me throw up the 1 time the whole pregnancy. And even with my 21 hour labor and almost 31/2 hours of pushing, I had the most amazing experience with it all. I felt without a shadow of a doubt that if I could I would do it 18..19...maybe 20 (or more) (wink wink) times in a heart beat. It is the after the hospital stuff that I think there is no way I could do. I just don't know what I am doing half the time and I am not always the most patient person out there to be able to handle that many kids.
Well, a few months after having him I was asked by a friend if they think since I had a baby if I will be able to have another one. There is no way to know that yet. We do have two frozen embryo's so we will get the chance to try again. Everyone's body is different so who knows if it will take again.  Plus who knows if they will make it through the thaw. To be honest I truly hope and pray that I will be able to experience it all again. This is where the guilt comes in. My pleasure is loving that I got to experience pregnancy and delivery and being a mother despite feeling inadequate. The guilt, feeling once is not enough, I want more. My sister-in-law hasn't been able to have kids, and I know that there are tons of women that will never be able to experience what I was blessed to experience. Which I was one of them for a long while. So how can I be so selfish?! I used to pray that I could get just one chance to experience it. Well, I got my chance, and I am honored and humbled and feel extremely blessed. These feelings are very frustrating and draining. I feel like I am having a constant battle with my heart and my head and whatever else is involved.
I was talking to one of my co-workers about faith, and being able to accept Heavenly Fathers plan. I told her that I have never wanted a single child family. 1, I want Elijah to have at least one sibling, 2, I want to have another baby. I know that Heavenly Father has a plan for me and my family, I just pray that if it is for our family to be the size it is now, that I can accept it and not look back. I don't want this to sound like I don't appreciate Elijah, that couldn't be farther from the truth. You can ask anyone who talks to me on a regular basis. He is almost all I talk about. You would think that no mother has ever seen their adorable baby do such cute things.
Well, there it is. I feel like I just let go of a secret that I have been holding onto for almost a year now. I guess the next year or two will be interesting to see what may (or may not) come.
Thanks for listening (reading) any of you that even look at my blog anymore let alone read all the way down here. ha!

THE FRIDGE

What can I say? The boy loves the fridge. This is the reaction we get pretty much every time we open the fridge when he is in the room.

A VIDEO

This video was a while ago but for some reason I haven't been able to get my video's on here so I finally got this one to work. Still trying to get more on here. He has a few different laughs that he does and we LOVE them all.

ALREADY OUTDATED UPDATE

Yes this is going to be 90% about Elijah.  I am a first time mommy and an almost complete stay-at-home mommy so what do you expect?

BUT first I will start with the 10% that is not about Elijah.

We bought a house.

Yep this is a first for both of us. It was built in 1950 and had kinda been updated here and there so there is a lot we need to do to it to get it up to how we would like it to be.  Sang has been slaving away like a mad man in fixing things and such so we can move in. He is such a hard worker and I haven't heard him complain once. He is pulling 5-13 hour days Mon-Sat for the last 2 months and that isn't including his work, fixing his parents sprinklers and some car issues. Yep he is amazing!

Now to the 2nd most amazing man in my life.

He is growing so dang fast. I have a bunch of pics to put on here so here they are:

 So handsome.

 Helping momma with laundry.

 Melts my heart.

Playing piano with Grandma. I think he is a natural. It is so cute when he looks up at the book and starts doing gibberish babble, almost like he is trying to sing to. (never mind my moms basketball shorts with a dress shirt, ha!)

 Look! I've got teeth!!

 Crawling all over momma.

 Yep! I pinned her! Who's next!!!??

Can he get his little booty any higher? I don't think so.

A video of him walking with the help of a little activity table was supposed to go here but for some reason it wont upload. BOOO!

He is eating lots of baby food and little chunks of soft stuff. He is a talker. Mostly rambles da-da-da-da-da over and over again. He sneezes and smiles like he just made a funny. He can climb the stairs with just a hand behind him just in case. He has this new thing where he will tilt his head to the side and down like he is being shy. He loves his baths. He doesn't like binkies but uses me as a binky (ugh! I am hoping this one ends soon) He loves the sound of his voice. He walks while holding onto your fingers. He pulls himself up on stuff ALL the time. Sometimes he will squat and just sit there (like a true Asian) He has good nights 50% of the time bad nights the other 50%. He naps 1-2 times a day. He is pretty much always happy.

We love this boy more then we ever thought possible.

Swimming and Fun

 We go for walks often and he occasionally falls asleep. This particular time he was pulling on his ducky and fell asleep with his hand on it. So dang cute!!

 Hangin out in his walker while momma got lunch ready. LOVE that smile!!!!

 He has started putting things on his head and just leaving them there. I love seeing his personality coming out. I have a feeling we are going  to be laughing a lot at our house.

 His first time in a pool. It was freezing water so I just tested him in it and all he wanted to do was splash.

 He loves bath time so I guess I shouldn't have been surprised he didn't care how cold the water was. Love his swim shorts!!

 Swimming with Grandpa.

 Tonight I was sitting on the swing outside and thought "he has never touched the grass. Wonder if he will like it."  Well, he likes it.  He is such an outside boy. Oh, and this is the first time he has sat up on his own.  He stayed up for a long time too.

 Close up!! Dang cute!

After playing and smiling a ton he finally fell over.....and just laid there face down.  I was laughing so hard. Usually he puts his arms up to push himself up but he seriously just laid there. I had to snap a quick pic before picking him up. (look at that cute bum)

He is growing so fast. It is so fun and sad at the same time. We get comments all the time when we are out how cute and good he is.



Family Bonding

Here is Elijah's Grandpa, Grandma, and Great Grandma playing with him.

Great Grandma is 97 years old. I am SOOOO glad I had the video camera in the diaper bag when Great Grandma sat down at the bottom of the stairs and scooted on her bum (she doesn't walk without a hand rail or wall to hang on to) over to play with him. Sang said he has never seen her interact with her great grand kids like that before.  Such precious moments.

He is getting so big.  We put up his crib and he is currently sleeping his 3rd night in it. He took the change like a champ. It is so funny how big he seemed in the craddle and now he is so tiny in the big crib.  He smiles and laughs so much now. He doesn't suck his thumb (yet) but chews on it. He LOVES his baths and has become a little bit of a splasher, which is cute now but I'm sure will come back and bit us in the bum for encouraging it. He is truly amazing.

We are so in love with this little man.

Pillow Tummy Time

Elijah used to like tummy time but gradually has changed his opinion. So my mom one day put him like this on one of her round pillows. He loves it! In the video he gets tired of it at the end but he was on the pillow for a while before I started recording.
He is such an amazing baby. I was feeding him the other night and was listening to a song that was touching and it made me shed a few tears. Elijah stopped eating so I looked down at him and he was looking at me with an expression of concern on his face and he got his pouty lip sticking out and it looked like he was about to cry.  It made me laugh, it was so cute. Quickly his pouty lip was gone and a look of confusion appeared. He was trying to figure out if he was supposed to laugh or cry with me. I have seen toddlers do this but never a baby his age, I loved it.
He loves it when we sing to him. He smiles and laughs. Now that I think of it I don't think he laughs at Sang, just me. Guess he already has an ear for good singing and knows it isn't me with that talent.
He has given us several good belly laughs but never when the camera is near. Buy the time I get back with the camera what ever was funny isn't anymore. Naturally!
Oh, on May first Sang blessed Elijah. We were so busy we both forgot about getting pictures. Horrible parents I know. But it was a beautiful blessing and you could feel the spirit so strong and you could just hear the love Sang has for his boy.  I was definitely a very proud wife and momma.
Well my handsome boy wants to play so off I go. I'm so blessed!

MY MR. ADORABLE JR.

This little turkey will laugh and talk like crazy but as soon as he sees the camera, he just stares......still. Sometimes I will pull the camera out and not record just to try and get him used to seeing it. (is that weird?)

He has made pretty close to every barn yard animal noise there is.  Plus a Komodo Dragon. His latest is puppy whining sounds. I will be going back to work as on call and I will be working 6 hours on Wednesday's so we have been trying to get him used to drinking from a bottle, it has been a challenge for both of us.

I know all the videos are lookin pretty much all the same but this is what I do with him most the day and I am trying hard to capture his really giggly and talkative times but I am failing. So I will keep trying but I love showing him off so what can ya do?

PLEASE HELP!!!!

We are entering Elijah into a local "Cutest Baby" contest and want opinions on what photo to enter. Please go to:
http://mpimages.smugmug.com/Children/Elijah-Nga/16699964_8rj5SW


and let us know which # pic or pics you think we should enter.  (we can only enter one)
 
Elijah is growing up so fast and every day he is more awake and giggles and talks more and more.  He had his 2 month well child visit almost 2 weeks ago and he weighed in at 11lbs 10oz (55%) and was 221/2 in long (49%) The dr had him laying on the table and was checking him out she had him grab her fingers and he started pulling to sit up so she helped him a little and he stood all the way up. I loved seeing the look of shock on her face and she says, "ok Mr. Over achiever. You don't have to grow up this fast." Almost every one that holds him makes a comment on how strong he is.
He has discovered his right arm/hand. He stares at it with a look of fascination and confusion. It is so dang cute. My favorite is when he is waking up and I go to get him and he just starts smiling and giggling at me. I really hope he keeps being this cute when he wakes up. So much better than screaming.
Sang is such an awesome daddy.  He helps me out so much and loves holding and playing with his boy. I can't imagine my life without my two men in my life. Looking back on what things I had blogged about a year ago I still can't believe this is my life, this is my reality. This last year has been just amazing. We have been blessed with so many supportive friends and family members.

My sleepers

I found my men like this. Love it!!

Our Happy Boy

We have the best conversations and I get the most smiles and giggles out of him while he is hanging out on the changing table.  Of course he calms down when either of the cameras come out so it is hard to capture his full cuteness, but you get the picture.  (or at least kinda get it)

2 WEEK PHOTO SHOOT

OUR GOOD FRIEND AMY TOOK THESE PICTURES WHEN ELIJAH WAS 2 WEEKS OLD. OUR FRIEND MALEAH MADE THE HATS AND BOOTIES AND THE BLUE AND BROWN OUTFIT. WE HAVE SUCH TALENTED FRIENDS AND I AM SO GLAD TO BE ABLE TO USE THEIR TALENTS FOR OUR BENEFIT, HA! 

HE IS GROWING UP SO FAST. HE IS ALREADY LOOSING THE NEW BORN LOOKS AND GETTING HIS OWN BABY LOOK. (DOES THAT MAKE SENSE?)

HE HAS ALREADY ROLLED OVER 4 TIMES, THE FIRST TIME HE WAS JUST 4 WEEKS OLD. HE HAS BEEN SLEEPING SO GOOD AT NIGHT AND ONLY GETS UP ONCE SOMETIMES TWICE TO EAT. IT IS SO NICE THAT HE HAS FIGURED OUT DAY AND NIGHT. I KNOW WE AREN'T OUT OF THE WOODS YET BUT WE HAVE DEFIANTLY MADE BIG PROGRESS THIS LAST WEEK. HE LAUGHS AND SMILE SO MUCH WHEN HE IS AWAKE (AND SLEEPING) AND HE COO'S OFTEN.

THE OTHER DAY I WAS FEEDING HIM AND WAS READING OUT LOUD THE LESSON ON PRAYER FROM THE GOSPEL PRINCIPLES MANUAL AND IT CAME TO THE QUESTION "WHY DO WE PRAY?'  AFTER READING THAT OUT LOUD I LOOKED DOWN AND HE WAS STARING AT ME AND HE PULLED OFF AND COOED TWICE THEN STARTED EATING AGAIN. IT WAS SO CUTE THAT HE WANTED TO ANSWER MY QUESTION FOR ME.

ANOTHER TIME SANG WAS HOLDING HIM AND I WAS TALKING TO HIM IN ENGLISH AND SANG WAS TALKING TO HIM IN VIETNAMESE AND I ASKED HIM "DOES ANYTHING DADDY SAYIN MAKING SENSE BECAUSE IT JUST SOUNDS LIKE JUBBERISH TO ME." HE THOUGHT THAT WAS SO FUNNY AND WAS SMILING AND LAUGHING.

WE HAVE BEEN GIVING HIM A BATH JUST ABOUT EVERY NIGHT AROUND 9 OR 9:30. IT HAS REALLY SEEMED TO HELP HIM GET ONTO THE DAY AND NIGHT SCHEDULE AND WE HAVE NOTICED THAT HE JUST LOVES IT.  LAST NIGHT HE WAS VERY TIRED AND WE WERE GOING TO JUST PUT HIM TO SLEEP AND SKIP THE BATH, HE WAS NOT HAVING ANY OF THAT.  HE WOULDN'T SLEEP AND WAS JUST CRYING SO WE GAVE HIM HIS BATH WHICH CALMED HIM RIGHT DOWN, AND AFTER HE ATE AND FELL RIGHT TO SLEEP (FOR 6 HOURS, I MIGHT ADD WHICH HAS BEEN THE LONGEST SO FAR, WHOOT WHOOT) 

WORDS CAN'T EXPRESS HOW GRATEFUL WE FEEL TO BE ABLE TO HAVE THIS LITTLE MIRACLE IN OUR LIVES. WE HAVE HAD SUCH AN AMAZINGLY BLESSED YEAR.

Chubby Cheekies

Not a whole lot to say in this post but I just love showing him off.

 

 Can't get enough of this boy!

 Elijah has a birth mark on the back of his neck. I have a birth mark on the back of my neck and my dad has one on the back of his neck also. Kinda cool I thought.

 Getting changed by daddy. Daddy is a pro for sure.

 How can you resist that face?

Getting ready for our first walk. So glad the weather has been getting better. Can't wait to have more walks together as a family.

Elijah playing with toys

Elijah playing with some toys for the first time.  I can't believe how alert he is already. He hold his head up so good and his legs are so strong that he likes to stand up (with mommy's help of course).  We have tried to get him on a little bit of a schedule with eating and sleeping and staying awake so he will sleep at certain times and for so long. Yep that doesn't work at all. It is all on his schedule. He will eat when he wants to eat, sleep when he wants to sleep, and there is no waking him trust me we have tried, and he will stay awake as late as he wants. We haven't been very strict with trying to keep a schedule but it was enough that he has let us know he is the boss.  (is this normal for all you mom's out there?) I have to say that since accepting I'm not in charge here feedings have gotten better again, and he isn't screaming when he is awake and he is falling asleep better, when he wants to sleep that is.  Oh so at his 2 week appointment he weighed 7lbs 10oz and a week later I weighed him again just to make sure he is still getting enough food and he was 8lbs 10oz.  Is that a lot for him to gain in just 1 week? I'm not complaining that he is getting plenty to eat, better than the alternative for sure, but I just was surprised. Wow do I sound like a first time mommy or what?!

Cali

I was looking through all my posts and the drafts and I guess I had started this but never finished. So here it is. Back in Oct we went to Cali with Sang's parents to visit his sister and her family. We had a great time and did some shopping in China Town and went and watched his niece play in a few soccer games and just hung around the house. It was really nice and relaxing. I was about 23ish weeks pregnant.

Labor Day 2-13-11

(Us in between contractions)
At 2:00am on the morning of Sunday Feb 13, 2011 I woke up to do my usual early morning potty break. As I usually did I had a contraction, I guess my full bladder usually set them off in early morning hours. I did my business and went back to bed. About 7 minutes later I had another contraction, about 7 minutes later another contraction, about 7 minutes later,another.

(few minutes old)

Sang was still awake out in the family room so I went out and told him that he might want to get some sleep because if things keep going the way they are we were going to have a baby soon. He came to bed and I kept timing my contractions and tried to sleep for a little while.

(1 day old)

Eventually I got up and showered and ate some breakfast as my contractions got stronger and closer together. We got to the hospital about 8:30am and they checked me, I was a 2. What!!

(few days old_

After contractions all morning that was it! They said they usually don't keep patients if they weren't at least a 4. But they told me to go walk the halls for an hour and see if I have progressed.

(1 week old)

Came back I was a 31/2. I was close enough so they admitted me and moved me to my room. They would check me every hour or two and eventually I got my epidural and made it to a 10 and was told to start pushing at around 8:15ish pm. At 11:27pm our precious baby boy was born. He weighed in at 7lbs and was 20in long. They placed him on my chest right when he came out and it was the most amazing and beautiful thing I have ever experienced. Sang was the most amazing support and was so encouraging. I don't know what I would have done without him. My mom was also in the delivery room and was such a great support as well. It was nice to share that with her.